The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize