i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize