bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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