it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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