butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
this is an emotional support booty call
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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