Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
