do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize