Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
