I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
