you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
