idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
