i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize