I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
