$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
