"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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