We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
