the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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