yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
