All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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