Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
