I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
