i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
