Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
