let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
