so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Let's get the cat blown out
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
