Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
