Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he thought i was a dude.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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