Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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