yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize