I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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