I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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