yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize