im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
