were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
