what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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