Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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