Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Dear god my vagina.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
