I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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