Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
