He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
