even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
