Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
