Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
