If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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