totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
