so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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