dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
