We're facebook friends in real life
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize