Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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