mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
