I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i just had sex bonerless
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
