3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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