we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
