Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
