that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We just shotgunned beers for America
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
