It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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