She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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