Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
